THE MIRACLE WORKER
PREVIOUSLY on ER (thought I’d script this too, to help place the episode):
Cut to PETER and ELIZABETH talking.
ELIZABETH: We’d be better off as friends.
Cut to MARK, AMANDA and KERRY walking down the hall.
AMANDA: Mark, thanks again for dinner last night.
Cut to LUCY walking down the street, CARTER walks behind her, LUCY turns as he speaks.
CARTER: God forbid you should listen to me and learn something!
Cut to KERRY and AMANDA at the front desk.
AMANDA: Yes I was engaged once.
KERRY: Oh.
AMANDA: To a really lovely man and he was killed in a freak horseback riding accident.
Cut CARTER and LUCY sitting together on the roof. CARTER’s arms in a sling and LUCY is near to tears. CARTER places his arm around her shoulders and LUCY leans into his embrace. LUCY sighs to prevent herself from crying.
Cut to CAROL and DOUG as CAROL places a baby in a crib, shushing the child as she does so.
Cut to them sitting on a bed.
CAROL: Yeah you bring a child into this world and you think that they’re helpless. But actually, I think it’s us, I think we’re the ones that are helpless.
"The Miracle Worker"
CAROL and DOUG are getting ready for work, CAROL's tying back her hair and DOUG's brushing his teeth.
DOUG: Hey Carol, what time's that big do at you mom's?
CAROL: Right after church. I promised her we'd be there for Christmas carolling with Uncle Ted.
DOUG: Is that the old guy with the banjo?
CAROL: It's a family tradition, you know kinda like going to mass on Christmas Eve.
DOUG: I told you if I go I feel like a hypocrite. All that kneeling and standing...
CAROL: You could just sit there.
DOUG: No, everybody'd look at me with a dirty look. Like I'm a pagan.
CAROL: You are a pagan.
Cut to front desk. KERRY walks up.
KERRY: Oh what a glorious day, did you see the sky?
CHUNI: Oh yeah it's like a painting.
CONNIE: Makes you glad to be alive.
JERRY: Unless you're being persecuted.
KERRY: Persecuted?
CHUNI: He's upset about Dr. Lee's new charting system.
KERRY: What new charting system?
CONNIE: Each patient gets two charts; one for the doc, one for the nurse.
CHUNI: That way we get to do our notes the same time you guys do.
CONNIE: Scores get in quicker, patient's get meds faster.
KERRY: Docs don't waste time chasing down charts, so, what's the problem?
JERRY: The problem is that someone has to keep track of twice as many charts as normal there by doubling his workload, not that anyone cares.
AMANDA enters carrying a box.
AMANDA: Morning gang!
KERRY: Oh my God, Amanda what have you done?
AMANDA: Assorted Christmas nibblies; some dried fruit, mixed nuts, some little chocolate reindeer...
CONNIE: Oh don't mind if I do...
AMANDA: Oh oh oh, wait. First dibs should go to Jerry, I think it's only fair seeing he's the one bearing the brunt of the new charting system.
JERRY: Oh no thank you, I'm not hungry.
Amanda: Oh as you wish. But seriously Jerry, if you find yourself in the weeds, call me. I'll make sure you get the support you need, all right?
JERRY: Sure
AMANDA: Oh, 'scuse me.
Cut to the Lounge. PETER is seated at a table wrapping presents. ELIZABETH enters.
ELIZABETH: There's a Christmas card image, a surgeon wrapping a book. What is it, something educational for one of your nieces?
PETER: No, actually it's for you. It's T.S.Elliot. I know you said you liked him so I got it last month when we were still... y'know...
ELIZABETH: Peter that's so sweet.
PETER: Yeah.
ELIZABETH: I can't think of a more thoughtful gift. Thank you.
She kisses him on the forehead.
PETER: Oh please, forget it. Listen, umm, I was wondering if we could finish our work ups around noon, I er.. I need to get out of here early tonight.
ELIZABETH: Got big Christmas Eve plans?
PETER: Yeah, my sister's hosting a dinner. Carla's gonna bring Reese by, I haven't seen him in a week.
ELIZABETH: Oh, don't worry I understand. I absolutely hate being away from my family during the holidays. In fact I'm so desperate not to be alone this Christmas Eve that er... (laughs) I've bought a ticket to the Surgeon's Society Gala.
PETER: Ugh…
ELIZABETH: Yep, and you won't believe who's sitting next to me.
ROMANO enters.
ROMANO: Hey! (Sings) There she is... So I checked around we definitely have the coolest table and really kinda lucky that we were both able to make it tonight huh? A little trouble in paradise huh? Anyway, so tonight's dinner is semi-formal so any slinky black number will do although if I may voice a personal preference something short and off the shoulder would be ideal... Peter, by the way that reminds me. I have about a week's worth of charts to review and I'm really trying to get out of here early so I need you to cover my teaching rounds.
PETER: Whoa, that's really gonna mess up my morning.
ROMANO: Well look at it this way; I get to have a life and you get to earn a special place in my heart.
ROMANO exits. Cut to titles.
Cut to front desk. MARK walks up.
MARK: Jerry, do you know a garage that's open? My piece of crap car died on the way in.
JERRY: On Christmas Eve? Good luck.
MARK: Lydia is that…?
LYDIA: Christmas card from Jen.
MARK: My ex-wife sent you a Christmas card?
JERRY: No, she sent one to me.
MARK: You?
JERRY: Yeah, Jen and I have exchanged cards for years, Christmas, birthdays…
LYDIA: I was just reading the newsletter.
JERRY: "Merry Christmas from the Simons"
MARK: What?
LYDIA: The new house they bought sounds amazing.
JERRY: I know, 5,000 square feet!
LYDIA: (laughs) Six bedrooms, three baths!
MARK: Sounds just like Jen to be bragging about her house.
JERRY: Yeah… I wouldn’t call it bragging exactly.
LYDIA: More like sharing good news.
JERRY: Yeah, Jen made Partner.
MARK: Partner? Jen made Partner?
JERRY: The firm your mother’ll been in.
LYDIA: All those convertables. Oh you know what?
JERRY: Max garage on Wacker’s, they’ll tell you a piece of crap car.
MARK: Thanks Jerry.
Cut to Carter and Lucy in one of the exam rooms. Carter is seated on a bed reading a card aloud.
CARTER: Dear Doctor Carter, I’m sure you don’t remember me but I wouldn’t be around this Christmas if it weren’t for you. You’re a lifesaver, the Lord’s instrument on earth.
LUCY: Pacer pads?
CARTER: Third drawer on the left. May God bless you and keep you, merry Christmas, Emily Rappella.
LUCY: Do you remember her?
CARTER: Not a clue, it’s a nice card though.
LUCY: Does it bother you that the Lord gets all the credit?
CARTER: Well one can be called worse things than an instrument of God.
LUCY: So you believe in (Indicates upwards with her head and eyes)?
CARTER: I give Him the benefit of the doubt. You?
LUCY: I don’t know. Sometimes I can’t help but think that God is just this comforting illusion. We all want everything to mean something so we create this all-knowing puppet master in the sky when really everything is just arbitrary; life, death (slams her finger), natural disasters… oh! Oww!
LUCY sucks her finger.
CARTER: The master is displeased.
Cut to ELIZABETH and PETER on the surgical floor.
ELIZABETH: I’m so sorry Peter, I can’t believe he forced this on you.
PETER: Well there’s no point in worrying about it now.
ELIZABETH: Well look, I’ll start on the pre-ops that should save you some time.
PETER: Whatever.
PETER exits, we follow ELIZABETH as she walks up to a patient.
ELIZABETH: Hello Mr. Gardener, I have the results of your MRI.
MR. GARDENER: Great, so how’s it look?
ELIZABETH: Good news, it appears the cancer hasn’t spread beyond the capsule.
MR. GARDENER: Great, err… so does this mean I can hold onto my prostate?
ELIZABETH: Well I’m afraid not, Dr. Romano does want to continue with the radical prostadectomy tomorrow morning as scheduled. But, with the surgery, you stand an excellent chance of beating the cancer. It really is very good news.
MR. GARDENER: Is er… is Dr. Romano around?
ELIZABETH: He’s in surgery, is it something I can help you with?
MR. GARDENER: Well, he’d mentioned that the operation could result in my… losing sexual function, I take it that’s still the case?
ELIZABETH: Well we’ll do our best to do a nerve sparing procedure, but there is that possibility, yes.
MR. GARDENER: How strong a possibility?
ELIZABETH: Well according to Dr. Romano’s notes, as high as seventy-five or eighty percent.
MR. GARDENER: Eighty percent.
ELIZABETH: Has Dr. Romano discussed your options about having children in the future?
MR. GARDENER: No.
ELIZABETH: Well, you might want to consider paying a visit to a sperm bank that way if there is a loss of function you’ll still be able to father children through alternative means.
MR. GARDENER: Right.
Cut to the locker room. AMANDA is closing a locker. JERRY walks in.
JERRY: Dr. Lee?
AMANDA: Oh you startled me.
JERRY: Ah, sorry, Dr. Anspaugh would like you to call him… is there something wrong with Dr. Greene’s locker?
AMANDA: Well I found it ajar so I thought I’d better shut it before something walked away. Thanks for the message.
JERRY: Sure.
Cut to MARK, LYDIA and MALIK bringing in a patient dressed as an elf.
PATIENT: I’ve got super ventricular tachycardia, it happens all the time.
MALIK: Rate’s 160, BP’s a hundred palp.
PATIENT: Just cardiovert me at 50 and I’m on my way.
MARK: Let’s put him on a monitor and get a strip.
PATIENT: I’m trying to tell you I’ve got SVTs. Just cardiovert me at 50, it works every time.
MARK: Okay, I appreciate the tip but I need to examine you myself.
PATIENT: I’m just trying to save some time here.
MARK: Stop talking.
PATIENT: (to LYDIA) Would you tell him that I have SVTS? (to MARK, through his stethoscope) I’ve got SVTS.
MARK: Let go
PATIENT: I got SVTs.
MARK: I heard you, I need to examine you myself.
PATIENT: I’m, gonna be late for work.
MARK: Let go.
LYDIA: Are you one of Santa’s helpers?
PATIENT: The helpers just pass out the goodie bags, I’m an elf. A singing elf?
LYDIA: A part of a choir?
PATIENT: There’s four of us, but thanks to super doc here it looks like the Elftones are gonna be a tenor short.
MALIK: Here you go Dr. Greene.
PATIENT: It says I have SVTs right? I knew it! You wanna shock me at 50 now smart ass?
Cut to the paramedics bringing in a patient. DOUG, CARTER and LUCY run up.
EMT: Got an eighteen year old kid, flatline.
DOUG: All right, how long down?
EMT: Unknown, mother found him in his room, we’ve been working on him for 15, gave him two rounds of eppy, two of atrophine.
CARTER: Been any signs of life?
EMT: We got him back once then we lost him again.
DOUG: Right, let’s get him on a monitor. Carter you wanna check ventilation?
LUCY: What can I do?
DOUG: Rectal temp.
LUCY: Great.
DOUG: All right, on my count, watch your hand there, 1,2,3, go. All right, any signs of drugs, suicide?
EMT: No, he told his mom he had a killer headache, went for a nap, never woke up.
CARTER: Sounds like a suberacnoid haemorrhage.
CHUNI: Killer headache is right.
CONNIE: Monitor’s up.
CHUNI: No readable pulse.
EMT: Asystole.
CARTER: No spontaneous respiration.
LUCY: No response to pain.
DOUG: Anybody got any good news?
CARTER: Pupils are… fixed and dilated.
EMT: No corneal reflex.
CHUNI: He’s only eighteen.
DOUG: Well we got him back once, maybe we can do it again. Let’s have a high dose appy, a pulse ox and a title CO2 detector.
Cut back to MARK with his patient.
MARK: Paddles please.
PATIENT: All right, crank it at 50, let’s go.
MARK: Let’s start at 20.
PATIENT: 20? Why?
MARK: Why? Because I said so that’s why.
PATIENT: Oh that’s mature.
LYDIA: Charge to 20.
MARK: Clear.
PATIENT: Aaaargh!
MARK: How’d we do?
MALIK: No change.
PATIENT: 50, do I hear 50?
MARK: Okay, let’s go to 30.
PATIENT: Oh for crying out loud!
LYDIA: Uh Mark, why not just, go to 50?
MARK: Because he has a sensitive rhythm, I don’t wanna over shock him.
LYDIA: All right, charge to 30.
MARK: Clear.
PATIENT: Aaaargh!!!
MARK: Anything?
MALIK: Nothing.
PATIENT: Ah, y’know I don’t wanna question your medical genius doc, but can we go to 50, while I still got some hair on my chest?
MARK: Let’s go to 50.
PATIENT: It’s about time!
LYDIA: Charged.
MARK: Clear.
PATIENT: Aaaargh!!!!
MALIK: That did it, back to normal sinus.
MARK: Watch him for 15 and then let him go.
PATIENT: Thanks, for nothing Dr. Mengeler.
Cut back to the 18 year old kid. CARTER’s doing compressions.
DOUG: Time?
CONNIE: 12 minutes.
DOUG: All right, let’s check his rhythm.
CHUNI: Still no pulse.
LUCY: Asystole.
DOUG: Keep at it.
CARTER: 10 of appy on board.
JERRY: Dr. Ross? The boy’s mother’s out in chairs, she’d like to talk to someone.
DOUG: All right, Carter, you wanna do that? Don’t get her hopes up. All right another appy, 7 milligrams.
Cut to CARTER going to talk to the boy’s mother.
CARTER: Mrs. Richards?
MRS. RICHARDS: My son?
CARTER: Hi, I’m Dr. Carter. Your son’s heart stopped beating and we are doing everything we can to get it started again, we are giving him medicine, we’re doing CPR.
MRS. RICHARDS: Why would his heart stop, he’s eighteen years old?
CARTER: There’s a sign that he had a brain haemorrhage which could have caused the cardiac arrest.
MRS. RICHARDS: How? He’s a picture of health.
CARTER: It could be a weak artery, possibly something that’s been there since birth. The thing is he’s been down a long time, and the longer that he goes without oxygen, the less likely it is that we can bring him back. And you and I might need to have a conversation…
MRS. RICHARDS: Please, don’t give up on him. He’s all that I have. Please.
CARTER: Okay, I’ll be back.
Cut back to the trauma room where the eighteen year old is.
DOUG: All right hold, hold the compressions. Any sign of a rhythm?
CHUNI: Flatline.
DOUG: Right, let’s call it.
CARTER: Not yet, keep bagging.
DOUG: You got some reason to keep flogging this kid?
CARTER: Yeah; he’s eighteen, he’s his mother’s only child and it’s Christmas.
DOUG: You hoping for a miracle? He’s been down for forty minutes.
CARTER: So what’s five more?
DOUG: Okay doctor let’s go.
CARTER: I’m resuming chest compressions, let’s keep bagging, let’s give another round of high dose appy, start a dopamine drip wide open. Get those paddles ready.
LUCY: Paddles won’t work, he’s in asystole.
CARTER: He could be in fine v-fib, charge to 300, no, no, no, no, no, 360.
CHUNI: Charging.
CARTER: All right everybody, let’s hold a really, really positive thought.
CHUNI: Ready.
CARTER: Clear.
CONNIE: Was that a beep?
LUCY: Oh my God.
DOUG: Random beeps there’s not a rhythm yet.
CARTER: Slap signs of pacer pads on him right now.
DOUG: All right, get them all. Can you roll him?
CARTER: Set it at 80.
DOUG: You’re on.
CHUNI: He’s not capturing.
CARTER: He’s down with the game, we just gotta get it to capture.
DOUG: He’s throwing PVCs.
CARTER: No, hold that lidocaine. Maximum gain. Come on. Come on
(Beep from monitor)
CARTER: We got it.
CONNIE: He’s got a rhythm!
CARTER: Take a corroted.
DOUG: Pulse?
CHUNI: Strong at 120.
2nd EMT: BP’s 100.
CARTER: Okay, let’s send him to CT find out where this bleeder’s coming from.
LUCY: How did you do this?
CARTER: I am but an instrument.
CONNIE: Way to go Carter.
CHUNI: Yeah nice save, hope he’s got some brain left. Do you want contrast?
CARTER: No but call respiratory, make sure they got a vent and a scanner.
The nurses wheel out the patient.
CARTER: Well, looks like we got our miracle.
DOUG: If he wakes up, even if he does he’ll probably have brain damage. Carter, better prepare the mother.
CARTER walks to find MRS. RICHARDS.
Cut to front desk. CAROL is on the phone. DOUG is listening.
CAROL: Yes ma, of course we’re coming… Uncle Ted wants Doug to play Silent Night on the tambourine! Ha ha! I think he’d love it! Mmm hmm… yeah. Hey do you have any video tape left in that video cam? Yeah, yes I am coming to mass… no he’s not but um, you know what, we should probably respect his choice… it would be lovely if we could all go together I know.
MARK: Jerry if anybody needs me I’m gonna be out at the Roach Coach.
JERRY: Okay, I’ll be here suffocating under a mountain of charts.
MARK: That’s odd, I swear I had my gloves in my pocket.
JERRY: Dr. Lee took ‘em.
MARK: What d’you say?
JERRY: I saw her at your locker earlier.
MARK: That is ridiculous Jerry.
KERRY: What’s ridiculous?
MARK: Jerry’s accusing Amanda of stealing my gloves.
JERRY: I’m telling you she had your locker open and she was very suspicious.
KERRY: Jerry, I know you’re angry at Amanda for the new charts system but to accuse her of being a thief.
JERRY: Well you didn’t see how weird she was acting.
MARK: Can it Jerry.
Cut to Peter and Elizabeth at the surgical floor front desk.
ELIZABETH: Peter, I finished the work on Landess how are you doing?
PETER: Two more pre-ops and then I’m up in the stops.
ELIZABETH: So you may make your dinner after all.
PETER: Yeah.
ROMANO: Lizzie, what’ll it be- Goose in chestnut sauce or roast loin of venison? We’ve got to call in our entrees.
SHIRLEY: Dr. Romano, Mr. Demeesa’s coming back in with post operative pain.
ROMANO: Deemesa, oh, what a pain in the ass. Oh Peter, you, you assisted on his gastroplastic didn’t you?
PETER: What? Uh, yeah.
ROMANO: Great, when he comes in you take him.
PETER: Uh Dr. Romano I’m already piled up with work here, I’m trying to make it home to my family for dinner.
ROMANO: Well what can I say Peter, sometimes being a resident just sucks. (to Elizabeth) So what’ll it be Mother Goose or Bambi?
Cut to the 18 year old boy. Carter, Lucy and Doug are examining the readout on a machine.
CARTER: Are these leads on?
LUCY: The leads are on.
DOUG: Nothing in the alpha theta delta frequencies, he’s brain dead.
CARTER (sighs) Well maybe he can be an organ donor.
DOUG: Hmm, not too likely, he has type AB blood, that’s what, two percent of the population. I doubt you’re gonna find many compatible candidates.
LUCY: It’s worth a try.
DOUG: Sure it is. Talk to the mother, if she won’t go for it, see if you can persuade her into pulling the plug.
CARTER: So much for my miracle.
Cut to Elizabeth on the surgical floor.
SHIRLEY: Dr. Corday, the fertility clinic just called. Your patient, Mr. Gardener, is having an MI.
ELIZABETH: His EKG was normal this morning. Um, is he upstairs?
SHIRLEY: They’re taking him to the ER.
ELIZABETH: Okay.
Cut to the news/coffee stand outside the hospital.
AMANDA: Hey, I just took an unusual complaint. An elf with an attitude claims you tried to torture him with the cardiversion paddles.
MARK: Uh we differed over treatment strategies, I wouldn’t quite call it torture.
AMANDA: I know I read the chart, he’s clearly a nutcase. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.
MARK: I’m okay, although to be perfectly honest I could have handled it better, I’m a little off my game today, blame it on the holidays.
AMANDA: Is it a rough time of year for you?
MARK: Not usually, my ex-wife she sent out this newsletter saying how happy she is. I can’t help but see it as her way of saying "hey, look how well I traded up." (about the coffee) I got it.
AMANDA: Thanks. Yeah, it’s a tough time of year for me too.
MARK: Really?
AMANDA: This is the first Christmas since my brother committed suicide.
MARK: Oh jeeze, I’m, I’m sorry.
AMANDA: It was one of those apocalyptic cult things, you know the guys with the sneakers?
MARK: Oh yeah, I thought that was a couple of years ago.
AMANDA: Well he missed the big event so he decided to follow on his own.
MARK: Oh I’m sorry, I gotta say you’re handling it better than I would.
AMANDA: Well I credit that to my grandma Lee, she always said, whatever life throws at you, you have to greet it with a smile. There is nothing as contagious as a positive attitude.
MARK: I think we’d all be better off if we followed grandma’s advice.
Cut to Mr. Gardener being taken from the elevator to the ER.
CONNIE: Coming through!
KERRY: Okay let’s get him into trauma one.
ELIZABETH: Mr. Gardener, Mr. Gardener, how are you?
MR. GARDENER: My chest feels tight, I can’t breathe.
KERRY: Is this your patient?
ELIZABETH: Yep and he’s hyperventilating like crazy.
KERRY: Okay hook him up to a twelve lead EKG and a pulse ox, start a line… let’s get a mask on him.
ELIZABETH: We need to get your breathing under control. Concentrate on the breaths. Let the breath out slowly… slowly.
CONNIE: Monitor’s up.
KERRY: All right, yep, pulse is up to 99, that’s a good sign, you’re gonna be fine.
ELIZABETH: Breathe in on the count of five. One… two…
KERRY: Oh my… you’re David, David Gardener right?
ELIZABETH: Three…
KERRY: The, the trumpet soloist?
ELIZABETH: Four…
KERRY: I saw your guest performance with the Chicago symphony.
ELIZABETH: Five…
KERRY: Oh I’m sorry, I’m Kerry Weaver, season ticket holder.
MR. GARDENER: Oh.
ELIZABETH: Breathe out.
KERRY: I just loved your featured performance in number two, it, it gave me shivers.
ELIZABETH: Slowly…
KERRY: Uh, uh, where do you go next?
MR. GARDENER: Boston.
ELIZABETH: Breathe in.
KERRY: Ah the BSO yes.
CONNIE: I got your twelve leads.
ELIZABETH: Breathe out.
KERRY: David your heart looks just fine, okay we’ll run a few tests just to make sure but I think that you were just having an anxiety attack. Are you uh, a little nervous about playing for a solo?
(He laughs)
ELIZABETH: Breathe in.
Cut to PETER examining MR. DEEMESA. YOSH is also there.
PETER: So how long have you had the pain?
MR. DEEMESA: Ever since the surgery. I wish I’d never had it. They told me that stapling my stomach would help me reduce but I haven't lost a pound yet.
PETER: So have you been sticking to the all liquid diet?
MR. DEEMESA: Yes.
PETER: What d’you have today?
MR. DEEMESA: A little blended tea.
PETER: What was in it?
MR. DEEMESA: Bacon and eggs.
YOSH: Mr. Deemesa!
MR. DEEMESA: But I blended it up.
PETER: What else did you have?
MR. DEEMESA: A smoothie.
PETER: And what was in that?
MR. DEEMESA: Low fat milk… some butternut squash, sweet potato pancakes, some honey glazed ham and a caramel orange boost egg noel.
YOSH: That’s a full Christmas dinner.
MR. DEEMESA: Oh, also I’m a little backed up.
PETER: What do you mean a little backed up?
MR. DEEMESA: Um, constipated.
PETER: Okay, he probably busted his staple, set him up for a gastric raff and x-ray and give him a laxative.
MR. DEEMESA: Ooh, I like the chocolate ones, if that’s all right.
Cut to the eighteen year old boy. His mother is seated beside him. CARTER and LUCY enter.
MRS. RICHARDS: Dr. Carter, I was talking to Stephen and he moved his arm.
CARTER: He’s having involuntary muscle spasms.
MRS. RICHARDS: I think he was trying to tell me something.
CARTER: Mrs. Richards, I’m afraid that’s not possible. We did a test on Stephen to check for brain activity, we didn’t find any.
MRS. RICHARDS: Well then, it’ll take some time and...
CARTER: Time isn’t going to help, Stephen is brain dead, with no possibility of recovery.
LUCY: I know this is a really difficult thing to think about right now, but one way to salvage something positive out of this is to donate Stephen’s organs.
MRS. RICHARDS: No, I can’t let you take out his organs when his heart is still beating.
(LUCY silently shakes her head "no" to CARTER)
CARTER: Mrs. Richards if that’s the case, I’d ask you to consider signing a Do Not Resuscitate order, that way if Stephen’s heart fails again, we won’t subject him to overly aggressive procedures, by prolonging his life in a vegitative state.
MRS. RICHARDS: I can hope for a miracle can’t I?
Cut to MARK in entering an exam room. An elderly lady is lying in bed. LYDIA and MALIK are also there.
MARK: (Unusually chipper) Well who do we have here?
LYDIA: Mrs. Hutton fainted, while shopping at Lakewood Mall.
MARK: Oh I’m sorry to hear that but don’t you worry, we’re gonna have you back on your feet in a jif.
MRS. HUTTON: All right.
LYDIA: Have you been hitting the nitriss?
MARK: Come on Lydia, you gotta greet life with a smile.
LYDIA: I do.
MARK: Yeah, a positive attitude is contagious. So Mrs. Hutton, why don’t you tell me what happened?
MRS. HUTTON: I went to Field’s night before Christmas sale. It was crowded, it was hot, it was stuffy, I passed out.
MARK: Very nicely put.
MRS. HUTTON: Thanks.
MARK: Why don’t we order Mrs. Hutton some cardiac enzymes, a CBC and a chem 7?
MRS. HUTTON: Hold it! How much do those things cost?
MARK: Gosh I, don’t know.
MRS. HUTTON: You won’t tell me?
MARK: No, I mean I really don’t know, please sit up.
MRS. HUTTON: Oh I got your number now.
MARK: ‘Scuse me?
MRS. HUTTON: You think you’re pretty smart don’t you doctor? Sweet talking me into buying all those expensive tests I don’t need.
MARK: Okay, just trying to make a diagnosis.
MRS. HUTTON: Well I am trying to survive on social security, we can’t all make a doctor’s salary.
MARK: I’m sure your insurance company’ll pay for the tests.
MRS. HUTTON: Oh, so that’s your racquet? Ripping off insurance companies. It’s crooks like you that keep my premium’s so high. Get me another doctor!
MALIK: Um, Dr. Greene’s the best doctor we have Ma’am.
MRS. HUTTON: Well I don’t like the look of him, the way he smiles, the way he talks, I want another doctor, any doctor as long as it isn’t him!
Cut to ELIZABETH with MR. GARDENER.
ELIZABETH: Mr. Gardener, your labs look stunning. We should probably wait on the cardiac enzymes before letting you go.
MR. GARDENER: Well at this rate I might as well check in for the night, huh?
ELIZABETH: Well it would certainly save you the drive in for surgery tomorrow.
MR. GARDENER: No, no the less time I spend here the better, no offence.
ELIZABETH: (Laughs) None taken. So, how are you feeling?
MR. GARDENER: Oh, like an idiot. I thought I was having this big heart attack, turns out I’m just a nervous wreck.
ELIZABETH: You know if you wanted to you could postpone surgery.
MR. GARDENER: No I have to be recovered by January 15th. Doing a televised special with the Boston Symphony.
SHIRLEY: (With chart in hand) Dr. Corday?
ELIZABETH: (Signing chart) Oh, I’ll have to mark my calendar.
MR. GARDENER: Symphony fan?
ELIZABETH: I know very little about orchestral music.
MR. GARDENER: So what do you like?
ELIZABETH: I’m, I’m embarrassed to say.
MR. GARDENER: (Laughs) How bad can it be?
ELIZABETH: I’m in a disco phase at the moment.
MR. GARDENER: (Laughs) Yes, well I can see why you would be embarrassed.
ELIZABETH laughs.
Cut to MR. DEEMESA with YOSH. MR. DEEMESA is in a wheelchair. PETER enters.
PETER: You page me?
YOSH: We’ve got a problem, he’s stuck.
PETER: Stuck?
YOSH: He’s wedged in so tight I can’t get him out.
PETER: All right, so what do you expect me to do?
YOSH: Could you help me get him out?
PETER: Uh huh, I don’t have time for that, just call maintenance have them take the chair apart.
MR. DEEMESA: Uh oh.
YOSH: What now?
MR. DEEMESA: I have to go to the bathroom.
PETER: Uh, you’re gonna have to hold it Sir.
MR. DEEMESA: Help!
YOSH: Help me get him out, please!
MR. DEEMESA: Please!
PETER: All right, okay, okay, come on, come on. Grab his arms. Aww man! All right on my count, one… two… three…
MR. DEEMESA: Aaargh!
MR. DEEMESA falls onto YOSH
YOSH: Uggghhh.
Cut to CARTER staring in through the window at STEPHEN’s lifeless form. LUCY walks up to him but isn’t noticed at first. CARTER is mumbling to himself.
CARTER: I’m amazed. Why did I do it? Oh why did it I do it, I don’t… (he notices LUCY behind him) I know better.
LUCY: You were trying to save a kid’s life.
CARTER: I let that instrument of God stuff go to my head. Maybe it is all arbitrary, I mean what did this kid do to deserve a brain haemorrhage and why does it blow on Christmas Eve? What’s the point.
He walks away leaving LUCY staring through the window sadly.
Cut to CONNIE walking up to DOUG near the front desk.
CONNIE: Doug, I got the tests back on the teenager in one.
DOUG: Hmm hmm, and?
CONNIE: A little Christmas present from the stork.
DOUG: All right, well I’d better go give the good news.
Front Desk
JERRY: Oh my God.
KERRY: Here.
JERRY: Oh, Dr. Weaver, Dr. Weaver, you have to read this.
KERRY: Read what?
JERRY: A triple X sex fantasy.
KERRY: ‘Scuse me?
JERRY: I found it on one of Dr. Lee’s charts, it’s her handwriting.
KERRY: (Reading) "I took MG’s gloved hand and placed it on my heaving, pink stippled breast." (To Jerry) Why am I reading this? (She screws up the paper)
JERRY: Don’t you get it? MG is Mark Greene.
KERRY: (Laughs) C’mon!
JERRY: What about the glove reference, whose gloves are missing?
KERRY: (Still laughing) Jerry you have completely lost your mind.
AMANDA: Oh, you found my notes on Mrs. Condell, I’ve been looking up and down.
JERRY: Mrs. Condell?
AMANDA: That psych patient? It’s a sad case. She’s psychotic, extremely hypersexual and she has these obsessive fantasies about Merv Griffin of all people. Anyway, thank you.
KERRY: Jerry, next time you want to make an ass out of yourself, leave me out of it, okay?
Cut to DOUG with the pregnant teenager.
LAURA: Could there be a mistake?
DOUG: There’s no mistake Laura, you’re pregnant.
LAURA: Oh my God. What do I do?
DOUG: Well is there anyone you can talk to? Your mother?
LAURA: No way, she’ll kill me.
DOUG: How about you Dad?
LAURA: No.
DOUG: Thanks.
LAURA: I had to sneak out even to come here.
DOUG: Hmm mmm.
LAURA: Are you gonna tell her?
DOUG: Not if you don’t want me to.
LAURA: Don’t.
DOUG: Well, you have some choices. You can have the baby keep it, have the baby give it up for adoption or you can have an abortion.
LAURA: I can’t have a baby. There’s no way. Can you help me?
DOUG: Yes I can, I’ll be right back.
DOUG walks out of the room and up to CAROL
DOUG: Hey Carol, we’ve got a pregnant thirteen year old in there, wants to have an aborton on the holidays.
CAROL: God, thirteen.
DOUG: Do you think you can arrange that?
CAROL: Merry Christmas, yeah.
DOUG: You’ll take it from there?
CAROL: Sure.
Cut to surgical front desk. PETER is on the phone.
PETER: Carla, look, yeah I know his bedtime is at eight o’clock but I’m getting slammed here, I might not be able to make it until then. Yeah I know, listen, listen, listen, um okay, okay, it’s Christmas Eve, I’m just trying to see my son, all right? Okay, thank you so much, al… yeah I promise, I will, yeah, bye.
PETER hangs up.
ELIZABETH: How’s it going?
PETER: Don’t ask. (Shouting to Shirley) Did you call the ER for Deemesa?
SHIRLEY: They said he’s still on the toilet.
ROMANO walks up
ROMANO: Lizzie, if you’re ready we can go together.
ELIZABETH: Um, look I have a couple of patients to finish with okay?
ROMANO: Is Peter trying to ruin our evening?
ELIZABETH: No not at all! Um…
ROMANO: It was a joke.
ELIZABETH: Look I’ll see you there.
ROMANO: Peter, I wasn’t able to finish these dictations so I left them for you, they have to be in by eight, appreciate the help, see you later.
PETER is obviously frustrated
Cut to KERRY bringing in a young girl, CARTER and LUCY run up. The girl’s parents are also present.
KERRY: Sixteen year old unconcious, history of villiari treesure.
CARTER: Glucyna coma?
KERRY: Looks like it.
MR. MAKOMI: She was doing fine until six months ago.
CARTER: What medication is she on?
MRS. MAKOMI: Emphrasylim, tobramysim, vitamins A, D and K.
LUCY: The skin’s jaundiced.
KERRY: Same with sclera, does her breath smell sweet?
CARTER: Peder permadicis?
KERRY: Yeah.
LUCY: What’s that?
KERRY: Liver’s shut down, let’s dip her urine. (To CARTER) It’s getting a little crowded in here, why don’t you deal with the parents please. Set lactolose, 30 ccs per mg.
CARTER: We’re gonna give her some medicine to clean her blood, why don’t you come with me?
CARTER leads the MAKOMIs out of the trauma room, LUCY also follows him
KERRY: Blood doesn’t seem to clot.
MR. MAKOMI: She’s bleeding inside?
CARTER: The liver failure is causing her blood not to clot.
MRS. MAKOMI: Oh God.
CARTER: Is she on the transplant list?
MR. MAKOMI: She’s been status 2a for six months but they haven’t been able to find her a match.
CARTER: Why not, what’s her blood type?
MR. MAKOMI: AB.
CARTER and LUCY stare at each other in disbelief.
Cut to MARK working on a sleeping patient. AMANDA walks in.
AMANDA: What are you doing, are you hiding back here?
MARK: Exactly. I tried your grandmother’s greet-em-with-a-smile approach on a patient and she threw me out.
AMANDA: No.
MARK: Yep. I’ve decided to restrict myself to the unconscious for the rest of the day.
AMANDA: Now, now.
MARK: There’s something about me that just brings out the worst in people.
AMANDA: I’ve noticed that.
MARK: I’m like a magnet for negativity, people get too close, I’ll pull the positive right out of them.
AMANDA: Oh my God!
MARK: What?
AMANDA: I suddenly feel depressed.
MARK: Low blood sugar?
AMANDA: No, it’s definitely you.
MARK laughs
PATIENT: Hey shut the hell up, I’m trying to sleep here.
AMANDA: Ooh.
MARK: Ah, another satisfied customer.
Cut to CARTER and LUCY walking up to STEPHEN’s room
CARTER: Two kids come in here on Christmas Eve, one ends up brain dead, the other needs a liver and they both have AB blood. Tell me that’s not a godsend.
LUCY: It’s not, the mother won’t consent to the…
CARTER: She will when I get through with her
They enter STEPHEN’s room. CHUNI is there.
CARTER: Where’s his mother?
CHUNI: She’s not here.
CARTER: Is he throwing PVCs?
CHUNI: Yeah.
CARTER: Why didn’t you call me? Let’s get the pacer pads on him.
CHUNI: Can’t. DNR.
CARTER: What?
CHUNI: His mother say you talked her into it.
LUCY: There goes your godsend.
CARTER: Did she say where she was going?
CHUNI: Not to me.
CARTER: If she comes back, keep her here.
CARTER exits
Cut to CAROL going in to LAURA
CAROL: Laura. Dr. Sarafini can take you.
LAURA doesn’t look particularly pleased.
CAROL: What’s wrong?
LAURA: I just keep thinking, it’s a mortal sin. Do you believe that?
CAROL: It doesn’t matter what I believe. What do you think?
LAURA: I don’t know.
LAURA starts to cry
CAROL: Is there someone in your family you can talk to? A sister maybe?
LAURA: No.
CAROL: What about your mom?
LAURA: She’ll kill me.
CAROL: Look Laura, this isn’t gonna be easy, but it is a very big decision and I don’t think you’re sure of what to do, I think you really need to talk to someone.
LAURA: Can you call my mom?
CAROL: Yeah, I can.
Cut to LUCY and CHUNI at STEPHEN’s bedside. CARTER enters.
CARTER: She’s not back yet?
LUCY: No, he just went into V-tach.
CARTER: Damn it. I got a faint pulse, give him another fifty of lidocaine and get the paddles ready, I’ll take full responsibility.
CHUNI: Yeah and I lose my license.
CARTER goes to get the paddles
LUCY: What are you doing?
CARTER: I’ll code him myself if I have to.
CHUNI: You’re crazy.
LUCY: You can’t code him against his mother’s wishes!
CARTER: You wanted a miracle? These two kids arriving on the same day is as close as it gets.
LUCY: That’s what you want to believe, she may not see it that way.
CARTER: I’m willing to bet she does.
LUCY: You’re only thinking of yourself.
CARTER: And a dying sixteen year old girl.
CARTER: Charging at two hundred.
LUCY places her hands on STEPHEN’s chest, effectively preventing CARTER from shocking him.
CARTER: Move ‘em. Move ‘em!
LUCY stares at him defiantly but eventually relents and moves her hands.
CARTER: Clear!
CHUNI: You’re both crazy.
CARTER shocks STEPHEN.
CARTER: Back in sinus.
CHUNI: Well now you did it!
CARTER: Page me if he goes south, I’m going to find his mother.
CARTER leaves.
Cut to ELIZABETH with MR. GARDENER walking along the hall.
ELIZABETH: So which section of the orchestra are you going out with now?
MR. GARDENER: No, I’ve been unattached since I started the tour, six months now.
ELIZABETH: That’s a long time to be on the road.
MR. GARDENER: Yeah it sure is.
ELIZABETH: Swarms of groupies in every city.
MR. GARDENER (laughing): Well, a classical soloist doesn’t quite lead the life of a rolling stone.
ELIZABETH laughs.
MR. GARDENER: If I’d known I was going to lose my prostate I would have made more of an effort believe me.
ELIZABETH: Are you still anxious about the surgery tomorrow?
MR. GARDENER: I was never all that anxious about the surgery per say, it was more the… (sighs)
ELIZABETH: What?
MR. GARDENER: (sighs) You really want to know?
ELIZABETH: Yes.
MR. GARDENER: (sighs) Well I, I went up to your clinic to deposit my… DNA and of course they directed me to the cubicle where they’d set out the specimen jar and the men’s magazine. And I, and I just kept thinking, well this is it, this is my, my last sexual experience and I… well you know the rest. It must be the first time in history somebody’s had performance anxiety brought on by himself.
ELIZABETH: David, would you like to grab a bite to eat somewhere?
MR. GARDENER: Yes, Elizabeth, I would like that very much.
Cut to PETER walking down the hall towards MR. DEEMESA’s bed.
PETER: All right Mr. Deemesa, we got your x-rays back, they’re clear so you are…
PETER pulls back the curtain around the bed only to find that MR. DEEMESA isn’t there.
PETER: Mr. Deemesa? Mr. Deemesa? Takata have you seen our four hundred pound patient?
YOSH: Uh oh.
PETER: What?
YOSH: I’m missing five patient dinners.
PETER: Oh damnit.
YOSH: Mr. Deemesa?
PETER: Mr. Deemesa?
YOSH: Mr. Deemesa?
PETER: Mr. Deemesa?
YOSH: Over here.
PETER: What is it?
YOSH: Cake crumbs, looks like German chocolate.
They walk through the door and find MR. DEEMESA collapsed on the floor.
PETER: Mr. Deemesa? Oh, damnit.
YOSH: Mr. Deemesa?
PETER: Ah, he’s unconscious
YOSH: He vomitted, there’s at least a half a gallon here.
PETER: Okay, no bowel sounds, abdomen’s rigid, he really did it this time.
YOSH: He blew his staple?
PETER: Yeah.
YOSH (shouting): We need a gurney!
PETER: Prep an OR, get an x-ray and page Romano, tell him to get his ass back here.
Cut to CARTER entering the chapel where MRS. RICHARDS is. He walks up to where she is sitting.
CARTER: Mrs. Richards. I’m sorry to bother you but an extraordinary thing has happened. A sixteen year old girl with the exact same rare blood type as Stephen’s came into the ER in liver failure. Now, I can’t help but to think that if God meant for Stephen to die tonight, at Christmas, that it must be so that this girl can live.
MRS. RICHARDS: I’m sorry, but I can’t think about another child’s problems right now, all I want is for my son to die peacefully, and to be buried whole. ‘Scuse me.
MRS. RICHARDS leaves. CARTER sits down only to find that MRS. RICHARDS has left behind her rosary. He picks it up.
Cut to PETER operating on MR. DEEMESA.
SURGEON: Lot’s of free air under the diaphragm.
PETER: Yep. He’s perfed his stomach. Still no Romano?
SHIRLEY: We paged him five times.
PETER: Alright, who’s on call?
SHIRLEY: Guthrey, he’s just started a triple A.
SURGEON: BP’s dropped to 80 palp, we can’t wait much longer.
SHIRLEY: He’s got a fever.
PETER: Alright, give him a gram of sepataxime, five hundred of flagule and hand me a scalpel, let’s move.
SHIRLEY: You’re staring without an attending?
PETER: He’s septic, I don’t have any choice. We keep him on the table he’s gonna die.
Cut to DOUG walking down the hall in the ER, he spots something through a doorway. CAROL is walking slightly in front of him.
DOUG: What the hell? Hey, Carol, hey, you see there’s a priest in there with that girl?
CAROL: Uh huh.
DOUG: Well he’s gonna pressure her into having a kid.
CAROL: Well maybe he’s gonna counsel her too.
DOUG: How’d he find out about it?
CAROL: She asked me to call her mom, the mom brought the priest.
DOUG: Well, I wish you’d told me.
CAROL: Why?
DOUG: Because I woulda tried to keep him out of there.
Cut back to MR. DEEMESA’s operaton. The team are examining the contents of MR. DEEMESA’s stomach.
SHIRLEY: Are those baked beans?
PETER: Yeah, and french fries. Oh.
SHIRLEY: Ooh, that’s rank.
PETER: What’s this? Coleslaw. Ah, here’s a good one, what is that? Mystery meat?
ROMANO appears at the door, scrubbing in.
ROMANO: What the hell do you think you’re doing operating on my patient?
PETER: (to Romano) Saving his life. (to himself) You jerk.
ROMANO: Get me a gown and gloves now! And Peter get your hands out of my patient.
PETER: Okay, give me a little suction here.
SHIRLEY: Sucker’s clogged.
PETER: Yeah, it’s a cranberry.
ROMANO: Gloves Shirley, gloves.
ROMANO walks through the door into the OR
ROMANO: Where the hell is she?
PETER: Who?
ROMANO: Who do you think? What d’you do, give her extra work to hang her up here?
PETER: I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.
ROMANO: Step away.
PETER: Alright.
He does so
ROMANO: Who gave you permission to start without me?
PETER: He was going into septic shock.
ROMANO: You are a resident Peter, you don’t take a piss without getting permission. And where the hell’s Lizzie, off doing your scut?
PETER: She left an hour ago.
ROMANO: What the hell d’you use to make this incision, a chainsaw?
SHIRLEY: He’s been drinking.
PETER: What?
SHIRLEY: He’s drunk.
PETER: Go, call Anspaugh now.
ROMANO: Retract the bowel. Retract the bowel please.
PETER: Dr. Romano, have you been drinking?
ROMANO: You’re questioning my surgical fitness?
PETER: How many drinks have you had?
ROMANO: Go to hell.
PETER: Dr. Romano, I’m gonna have to ask you to step back please.
ROMANO: Sponge.
PETER: Dr. Romano!
PETER: Touch me again Peter and I’ll deck you, give me the sponge.
PETER: You’re drunk!
ROMANO goes to hit PETER but misses and smashes into an instrument tray, knocking him clean out.
PETER: Alright Shirley, get me some clean gloves and a gown.
SHIRLEY: Coming right up.
Cut to the front desk. JERRY is there with MARK.
JERRY: Hey, hey, who ordered all this stuff?
MARK: What is it?
JERRY: Uh, pizza, beer, brandy, whole bunch of spices…
AMANDA: Ah, the provisions have arrived. How much do I owe the man?
JERRY: Two hundred and twelve dollars plus a tip.
KERRY: What’s going on?
AMANDA: Staff Christmas party!
CONNIE: I didn’t know there was one.
AMANDA: There is now, my treat.
MARK: Alright!
JERRY: You know what? It’s really crowded could we maybe take this stuff into the lounge?
AMANDA: Grouch! Thanks guys. Remember to punch out before boozing!
MARK: What do you need brandy and spices for?
AMANDA: Hot toddies. The sultan of the divorce statement.
MARK: Well if it’s good enough for the sultan…
KERRY: Yeah, make mine a double.
MARK: Jerry where’s my lab coat?
JERRY: Uh… it was here a minute ago.
MARK: Yeah, where’d it go?
JERRY: You know what? I don’t even wanna hazard a guess.
KERRY: That’s a wise choice Jerry.
Cut to CARTER and LUCY sitting on the old abandoned staircase.
CARTER: I admit it, there's no such thing as miracles.
LUCY: You don't really believe that.
CARTER: I don't know what I believe. I was so sure that I was right, that I had the big Cahoon on my side, that's pretty arrogant, huh?
LUCY: Very.
They pause whilst a cart rolls past
CARTER: What's going on?
LUCY: Apparantly Mrs. Richards bumped into the Makomis in the hallway and they got to talking. She consented to the liver transplant.
CARTER-: Oh my God, oh my God.
LUCY: Wait, before you go giving Him too much credit, there's something you ought to know.
CARTER: What?
LUCY: I introduced them.
CARTER-: What do you know? You're an instrument of God!
LUCY: Oh please!
CARTER laughs like mad.
Cut to CAROL in a supply closet. DOUG walks up to her.
DOUG: Sorry.
CAROL: How sorry?
DOUG: (he laughs) Not sorry enough to go to mass tonight, if that’s what you mean.
CAROL: (sighs) Mmm, you know what I don’t understand is how I care so much for a hot-tempered, pig-headed, heathen…
DOUG: I prefer pagan.
CAROL kisses him.
CAROL: Heathen.
Cut to surgical lounge. ROMANO is sat at a table writing as PETER enters.
ROMANO: Just finishing up my disciplinary report, recommending that your residency be terminated for operating without an attending.
PETER: Hmm, if you turn that in I’ll be forced to defend myself.
ROMANO: Hmm, well good luck Peter.
PETER: That’ll mean I’ll have to turn in these labs showing that your blood alcohol level was .12. You shouldn’t have even been driving, let alone operating on someone.
ROMANO: Don’t bluff me Peter, (rolling up his sleeves to show his arms as proof) you didn’t draw my blood.
PETER: Not from there.
ROMANO checks his thighs.
Cut to the staff Christmas party. The staff are dancing and drinking. AMANDA has a camera.
AMANDA: Mark look here.
He does so
AMANDA: Got ya!
KERRY: Amanda these hot toddies are delicious.
CONNIE: I want the recipe.
AMANDA: Not a problem.
JERRY enters
MALIK: Hey Jerry, want to try one of Dr. lee’s hot toddies?
JERRY: Oh, just, give me beer.
Dissolve to Stephen. His mother is by his bedside as a priest performs last rites. CARTER and LUCY observe sadly through the window. A beautiful version of "O Come All Ye Faithful" starts up
Dissolve to CAROL walking in the snow. DOUG comes up behind her and puts his arm around her. They both smile and walk out together.
Dissolve to CARLA walking with REESE down the hall towards PETER. He lifts REESE into his arms and kisses him on the cheek. He then kisses CARLA on the cheek too. They walk down the hall together.
Dissolve to ELIZABETH and MR. GARDENER sitting chatting in Doc Magoo’s.
Dissolve to MRS. RICHARDS walking slowly down the hall. CARTER catches up with her and returns her rosary before she walks out into the snow.
Dissolve to AMANDA standing at home in front of a Christmas tree. She takes the photo of MARK from the party and attaches it to a heart shaped tree decoration. She hangs it on the tree next to an identical decoration with her face on. We notice that she is wearing MARK’s lab coat.
AMANDA: Merry Christmas Amanda
The music comes to an end and AMANDA hums the same tune softly to herself as she puts on MARK’s gloves.
Fade to black.
